Plain language
Privacy policy
The short version: we do not ask you for anything, we do not sell anything about you, and our analytics sets no cookies. The one thing that can follow you from here is an affiliate cookie, set by the shop when you click through, and that is explained below.
Who runs this site
Chonk & Noodle is run by Diana. You can reach us at hello@chonkandnoodle.com.
What we collect directly
Nothing. There is no account, no newsletter, no contact form, and no comment box on this site. We never ask you to type anything in, so there is nothing for us to store.
Analytics
We use Cloudflare Web Analytics to count visits and see which pages people read. This tells us things like how many people opened the cat feeder guide and which video sent them. It does not tell us who you are.
It sets no cookies and stores nothing in your browser. It does not follow you to other websites and it does not build a profile of you. There is no analytics opt-out to offer you here, because there is nothing attached to you to opt out of.
Affiliate cookies
Some links on this site go to shops through an affiliate programme. When you click one, the shop or its affiliate network sets a cookie in your browser recording that you arrived from us. If you then buy something, that cookie is how they know to pay us a commission.
That cookie is set by the shop, not by us, and it follows the shop's privacy policy rather than this one. It typically expires after a set window, often somewhere between a day and a month depending on the programme. We never see your name, your address, your card details, or what you bought. We see a count of clicks and a count of sales.
If you would rather not be tracked this way, do not click the affiliate links, or clear your cookies after clicking. It costs us the commission and costs you nothing, and we would still rather you had the choice.
Embedded video
Episodes are embedded from YouTube. When a page with an embedded video loads, YouTube may set its own cookies and collect data under Google's privacy policy, which we do not control. Watching on YouTube directly is subject to the same thing.
Hosting and server logs
The site is hosted by Cloudflare Pages. Like every web host, it keeps short-lived technical logs that can include your IP address, browser type, and the page you requested. These are used to serve the site and to stop abuse.
What we do not do
- We do not sell or share your personal information.
- We do not run advertising networks or retargeting pixels on this site.
- We do not build profiles of visitors.
- We do not knowingly collect anything from children under 13.
Your rights
If you are in the UK, EU, or a US state with a privacy law, you have the right to ask what data we hold about you, to have it deleted, and to object to how it is used. Since we hold no accounts and no direct records, in practice there is usually nothing to return. Ask anyway if you want to check: hello@chonkandnoodle.com.
Changes
If this policy changes, the date below changes with it.
Last updated: 13 September 2026